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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24856717">You Don't Want This</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammy_is_obsessed/pseuds/Sammy_is_obsessed'>Sammy_is_obsessed</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Intrulogical Oneshots [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst/Fluff, Fluff, Human AU, Hurt/Comfort, Intrulogical, M/M, Mpreg, romantic intrulogical</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:53:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,116</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24856717</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammy_is_obsessed/pseuds/Sammy_is_obsessed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Logan hadn’t seen his boyfriend in a week now and that was decidedly very odd. Prior to now, they’d spent nearly every day together. At the very least, Remus would call him or send him a couple of dirty texts. But no contact at all? It just didn’t make any sense.</p><p>It wasn’t as though Logan hadn’t reached out. In fact, right before Remus had all but completely cut off contact he’d fallen ill. Remus claimed that it was nothing more than a stomach bug, probably some bad fish he ate. Normally, Logan wouldn’t doubt him; Remus was never one to forgo the truth, no matter how grotesque or messy it might be. But this…this didn’t feel quite right.</p><p>They’d been together for almost a year-in-a-half now, for god’s sake, they’d been talking about moving in together and now Remus wasn’t talking to him. He was dodging his call for the most part and the few times that Logan was granted the privilege of a conversation, Remus had come up with some very half-baked excuses as to why they couldn’t see each other.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Intrulogical - Relationship, Logan/Remus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Intrulogical Oneshots [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1805542</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>183</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You Don't Want This</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Logan hadn’t seen his boyfriend in a week now and that was decidedly very odd. Prior to now, they’d spent nearly every day together. At the very least, Remus would call him or send him a couple of dirty texts. But no contact at all? It just didn’t make any sense.</p><p>It wasn’t as though Logan hadn’t reached out. In fact, right before Remus had all but completely cut off contact he’d fallen ill. Remus claimed that it was nothing more than a stomach bug, probably some bad fish he ate. Normally, Logan wouldn’t doubt him; Remus was never one to forgo the truth, no matter how grotesque or messy it might be. But this…this didn’t feel quite right.</p><p>They’d been together for almost a year-in-a-half now, for god’s sake, they’d been talking about moving in together and now Remus wasn’t talking to him. He was dodging his call for the most part and the few times that Logan was granted the privilege of a conversation, Remus had come up with some very half-baked excuses as to why they couldn’t see each other.</p><p>Logan had asked if he’d done something to upset him. He put everything he had into his relationship, but he had never been the best at understand other’s emotions, as well as his own, so the idea that he had done something to unintentionally hurt Remus’s feelings wasn’t too out-there. Remus had sworn that it was nothing and that Logan didn’t need to worry, which only deepened Logan’s concerns. Still, Remus was upset and not knowing what he could do to fix it, he decided giving him some space might be the best course of actions. How it had gotten to an entire week of this almost radio-silence, Logan wasn’t sure, and he was damn near about to call Remus and demand some kind of an explanation when his phone began to chime.</p><p>Logan noted that it was Remus’s twin brother Roman calling. He and Roman had actually known each other for far longer than he’d been with Remus, having been friends for a long time now.</p><p>“Hello, Roman,” Logan said after pressing ‘talk’, “To what do I owe the pleasure?”</p><p>“When was the last time you talked to Remus?” The question came out of absolutely nowhere, effectively throwing him for a loop.</p><p>“Uh – just a few days ago. But I suppose we haven’t seen each other in a week now.”</p><p>“You <em>suppose</em>?” There’s an anger in Roman’s tone, fiery and frantic.</p><p>“What exactly is going on here? Clearly you know something I don’t.” Roman scoffed.</p><p>“Yeah, clearly.” Logan huffed out a sigh, his concern only escalating from where it had been. “Logan, you need to talk to my brother. Now.” In all honesty, Logan was surprised that Remus and Roman were even on speaking terms. They’d never gotten along very well in all the time that he’d known them and now apparently Roman posed vital information about his boyfriend that he lacked.</p><p>“I don’t understand. Why won’t you explain to me what the situation is? What did Remus tell you? Is he alright?” Roman sighed.</p><p>“I can’t be the one to tell you, Lo. And I know he’s gonna be too scared to tell you if you call him. Please, go see him. He’s in a really fucked up mental state and he needs you, even if he’s too afraid to admit it.”</p><p>Logan felt his heart beginning to hammer in his chest. Remus was in a, as Roman explained it, a “fucked up” mental state and he was afraid to explain the reason to him. The very thought of such things and all the many possibilities of what it could mean swirled in his head.</p><p>“Roman – please, just explain it minimally. You’re, you’re elevating my concerns. Is Remus unsafe? Is he injured or ill?”<br/>
<br/>
“Please, go talk to him, Lo. We can talk about everything once you guys have had a conversation, but I need that to happen first.”</p><p>“Fine,<em> don’t</em> tell me,” Logan muttered through gritted teeth, “Goodbye, Roman.” Before his friend could even respond he’d ended the call. Logan buried his face in his hands, fear settling deep into his bones. He’d felt like something was off, but he’d dismissed it. Why had he been so foolish? Why hadn’t he applied any logic? Of course something was wrong! Something had <em>felt </em>amiss for the entire week and yet Logan hadn’t wanted to upset Remus. Now, it seemed, he needed to go see him. He needed to know what the hell was going on.</p><p>Logan drove faster than was considered legal on his way to Remus’s apartment, something under almost any circumstance he wouldn’t do. But his anxieties were gaining in momentum and they wouldn’t let up until he saw his boyfriend.</p><p>Hopping out of the car, he pulled the key from his back pocket in case Remus refused to answer his knocking and approached the door. Logan gave a knock, feeling his hands beginning to shake.</p><p>“Remus, it’s Logan. Please, open the door.” Logan was met with silence.</p><p>“Dear, I saw your car in its spot; I know you’re there. Let me in, please.” Nothing.</p><p>“Roman just called me. He sounded…incredibly concerned for your well-being and I’m worried too. Whatever it is, you can tell me. I’m here…” Logan was just about to use the key when the door swung open, revealing a disheveled Remus.</p><p>“Rem –.”</p><p>“Remind me to kick my brother’s ass for calling you,” he snarled, though he stood aside so that Logan could enter, “It was none of his goddamn business.” Logan came inside hastily, noting that it was in even more of a disarray than usual. The coffee table and counter were littered with dishes and there were crumbled pieces of paper all over the place. Remus would often get like this when inspiration struck him like a bolt of lightning and he needed to write every idea that came to mind. Seeing the state his boyfriend was in, however, Logan highly doubted that was the reason.</p><p>“Remus, I know you’ve been avoiding me. I wanted to give you space, assuming I’d done something to upset you, perhaps. But getting that call from Roman…” Logan trailed off, seeing the look of utter exhaustion on Remus’s face. Remus’s hair was ruffled, sticking up this way and that, and his makeup was smudged, mascara and eye shadow having left a purple and black trail down his cheeks. Logan reached out to touch Remus’s face, only to have him jerk back and slam the door shut, “you’ve been crying…” </p><p>“Yeah, no shit,” Remus huffed bitterly, walking over the sofa and flopping down. Logan noted that his boyfriend looked even paler than usual, something that deeply worried him. He sat down beside Remus, giving him enough distance to hopefully feel at least a little comfortable. Remus crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes cast downward.</p><p>Silence hung between them for a tense moment as Logan watched Remus try not to burst into a fit of tears. It was agonizing.</p><p>“Remus, whatever is going on, you can talk to me. I love you. You know that, don’t you?” Remus sighed, running a hand through his frazzled hair.</p><p>“That’s the thing though, isn’t it? Love’s conditional.” Logan knitted his eyebrows together.</p><p><br/>
“What? I don’t understand, why would you say something like that? Remus, what happened?” Remus shook his head, taking a trembling breath before meeting Logan’s expectant gaze.</p><p>“Oh, it’s nothing really.”<br/>
<br/>
“Clearly, that isn’t the case. Something’s the matter; I’ve never seen you look so upset.”</p><p>“Well, I’m pregnant, so that’s something, I guess.” Logan felt like the air had been punched out of his lungs. He looked at Remus, searching for some kind of falsehood, a practical joke of some kind. All he found was broken, terrified sincerity.</p><p>“W–what?”</p><p>“Pretty fucking wild, huh? We were using protection and all that shit – and yet here we are!” Logan felt his heart beating out of his chest, his mind going a mile-a-minute. He went silent, needing a moment to process before continuing.</p><p>“Remus why… why would you hide this from me? When did you find out?”<br/>
<br/>
“Week ago,” Remus said casually, or at least as casually as one can muster when they’re very near to tears, “I talked to Roman about it, by the way. So you don’t even need to worry. He said he’d help me out, honestly, it’s really sweet of him. I didn’t expect it of him, but what do ya know? People surprise you sometimes.” Logan blinked, feeling himself beginning to tremble as he reached out for Remus’s hand. His boyfriend pulled away.</p><p>“I don’t need to worry? Are-are you under the impression that<em> I’m</em> not going to help you? This all comes as quite a surprise but – Remus? Remus, dear, look at me? Won’t you look at me?” Remus shook his head, tears burning in his eyes once more.</p><p>“No, don’t do that. Don’t <em>fucking</em> do that, Logan. You don’t want any part of this, trust me, I can handle myself.” Logan finally acquired a grip on Remus’s hand, holding it tight. His boyfriend’s wide, tear-filled eyes met his.</p><p>“Remus, you should have told me the moment you found out. The fact that you’ve had to deal with this almost all on your own for a week now… darling, I would have never wished that upon you. You don’t have to ‘handle yourself.’” Remus sniffled as Logan rubbed the pad of his thumb along his knuckles.</p><p>“You don’t know what you’re talking about… don’t say all that, I-I know you don’t mean it. You’re not going to want anything to do with me after this.”<br/>
<br/>
“Who says I won’t?” Remus shuddered.</p><p>“I do! I – I don’t want to trap you in something you don’t want any part of! You’ve got a life to lead, so go fucking do it! Go and find somebody else, I’ll be fine. Always am.” Logan shook his head firmly, feeling the emotions burning through him.</p><p>“No. Remus, don’t say that. I cannot fathom what you’re going through mentally at this time, but I can assure you, I’m not going anywhere. I’ve been terribly worried and when Roman called… well, I feared for the worst. Darling, I<em> love</em> you. I could never leave you, especially in the vulnerable state that you’re in.” Remus sniffed, jerking away from Logan’s grasp and burying his face in his hands.</p><p>“Stop saying that! S-stop it, I know it’s not gonna be true anymore. <em>Please</em>, just stop it…” A sob bubbled in Remus’s throat as he felt a hand settle onto his shoulder.</p><p>“Falsehood," Logan replied, far softer than he usually said the word, "I do love you, and this by no means changes that. Whatever course of action you want to take, I will continue to love you. You are my partner, you are the person who has stolen my heart, and I support you in anything.” Remus went silent, save for the sniffles, poking his head out from his hands and daring to make eye-contact.</p><p>“Even… even if I wanted to keep it?” Logan nodded, rubbing steady circles into Remus’s back.</p><p>“If that’s what you want then, yes. Even then. Is that what you want, Remus?” Remus whimpered.</p><p>“I… yeah. Yeah, I think so. Do you think I’m crazy? Me, thinking I could do anything like that? Even though it was a complete accident?”</p><p>"Of course I don’t think you’re crazy. As I said, whatever you want to do, I will put my support in you. I’m here, Remus, and I’m not going anywhere.” Remus sniffled, a hopeful smile wavering on his face.</p><p>“Do you promise? You’re not – you’re not gonna change your mind?” Logan pressed a kiss to Remus’s temple, reassuring and tender.</p><p>“I promise.” Logan suddenly found himself with a lap-full of Remus who was hugging him as tight as humanly possible and sobbing into his shoulder.</p><p>“Okay good b-because I was totally lying. I don’t have <em>anything </em>under control. Logan, I’m fucking terrified.” Logan couldn’t say he was much less scared. He’d never imagined himself being a father, never considered the possibility of having something like that with Remus. And terrifying though it was, the idea of Remus no longer being in his life was far scarier.</p><p>“It’s alright. Fear is a perfectly natural reaction. It’s going to be alright.” Logan felt Remus beginning to relax in his embrace, burying his face in the crock of his neck.</p><p>“I’m sorry… I just thought…” Remus trailed off, noting how he was getting tears and smudges of makeup on Logan’s shirt, though he lacked the energy to care, “I love you. I love you so goddamn much and I can’t believe you wanna stick around. I mean, you know I’m being serious, right? I wanna keep them…I know it’s nuts, and I’m just about the last person who should be having a baby but…”</p><p>“I believe you, Remus. I don’t think it’s nuts. We’re two perfectly rational, functional adults.” Remus snorted.</p><p>“Yeah, maybe <em>you</em> are.”<br/>
<br/>
“You don’t give yourself enough credit, darling. You’re a fantastic author. You’re a wonderful person.”</p><p>“You’re one of the only people who’d say that, babe. Me and “wonderful person” aren’t really words that go together.” Logan pressed a kiss to the crown of Remus’s head.</p><p>“You’re wonderful in your own ways, my dear. And I’m sure you’ll be a wonderful father.” Remus moved to look at Logan, an elated look in his eyes.</p><p>“We’re gonna have a baby,” Remus said before kissing Logan enthusiastically. It was a scary statement to contemplate, but one that excited Logan nonetheless.</p><p>“That we are,” Logan said fondly as they pulled away, “That we are.”</p><p>=+=</p><p>Logan rubbed Remus’s back as he heaved his guts out for the millionth time that night.</p><p>“It’s called fucking <em>morning </em>sickness,” Remus moaned into the toilet bowl, “Does it look like morning to you? It’s 11 o’clock, for god’s sake.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, Remus,” Logan said apologetically.</p><p>“That was my big tip off,” Remus said weakly, “The moment I got you to leave I was puking all the time. I figured either I was dying, or I was pregnant, and well, luckily it was the later. Though at this rate I might die from loss of vomit or something.” Logan decided against commenting on the fact that “loss of vomit” was not a cause of death, opting instead for getting a washcloth to wipe Remus’s mouth as well as a glass of water.</p><p>“Thanks,” Remus mumbled, dabbing the puke off his lips before downing the glass in two swallows. “I feel like <em>shit</em>.”</p><p>“Come on, let’s get you to bed,” Logan coaxed gently, helping Remus off the floor and into his bedroom. Logan’s very much set on having Remus move into his apartment as soon as possible, but for tonight this is where they'd both stay.</p><p>“I really am sorry for how I acted,” Remus said uncharacteristically softly as Logan shut off the lights and slid into bed with him, “I was just so scared…ha, was. I’m <em>still </em>so scared, but you’re here. I can’t believe you’re here.”</p><p>“You don’t need to apologize, dear. You’re under an incredible amount of physical and emotional stress, your reaction, though unfounded, was understandable. I’m not upset with you, if that’s what you think.” Remus sighed, wrapping his arms around Logan and pressing his face into his boyfriend’s chest.</p><p>“That’s good… LoLo? Do you really think we can do this?” There was a fragility to Remus's voice unlike Logan's ever heard. He doesn't give Logan the chance to respond before continuing. “And – and you’re not going to get scared away? When things progress, I mean. We’re only in month two or so, I think?” Logan searched for Remus’s hand in the dark, finding it and giving it a reassuring squeeze.</p><p>“You could never scare me away. I scheduled a doctor’s appointment for tomorrow, by the way. To check in on the baby.” Remus smiled, further ensnaring Logan in his octopus-like-grip.</p><p>“You’re the fucking best – <em>shit</em>, I probably got to stop cursing so much huh? Well… that’s a problem for a little bit later. Little bean’s too tiny to hear any swear words right now, anyhow.” Logan quirked an eyebrow.</p><p>“Little bean?”<br/>
<br/>
“Uh... yeah. That’s what I’ve been calling them, for the time being. I dunno I thought it was –.”</p><p>“It’s very cute. I’m not making fun of you.”</p><p>“Kinda sounded like you were about to,” Remus huffed.</p><p>“Well, I wasn’t. Go to sleep, Remus. You sound exhausted.” </p><p>“I’m still mad at Roman for telling you.” Logan sighed, carding a hand through Remus’s ruffled curls.</p><p>“I’m glad he told me, otherwise I wouldn’t have come here sooner. I wouldn’t have found out that we’re going to have a child.” Remus smiled.</p><p>“We are. Knowing you, we’re gonna have the smartest fucking kid. The two of you are probably going to make me feel like such an idiot.”<br/>
<br/>
“Don’t talk like that. You’re nothing of the sort. Our little bean,” Logan noted the way Remus squeezed him just a bit tighter when he said it, “Will be a wonderful combination of the both of us, I’m sure.”</p><p>“You have to promise me that you’ll help me find maternity clothes for when I look like a beached whale. Only fun colors though, none of those beiges or greys.” Logan smiled fondly.</p><p>“I promise, dear.”</p><p>“And when we tell our friends, you’ll have to do it. hearing it from me they’re just going to think I’m trying to pull a practical joke.” Logan chuckled.</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>“I love you, Logan,” Remus said, voice layered with exhaustion.</p><p>“And I love you, Remus,” Logan said, listening to Remus’s breath even out as he drifted off to sleep.</p><p>Logan certainly hadn’t expected any of what played out to occur, but now that this was the situation he was in, he doubted he’d do much to change it. He loved Remus more than anything and though the thought of the two of them being a family hadn’t occurred to him much prior, it brought him joy to contemplate now. It was a scary concept, them being parents, but he was convinced they could do it. So many people even more ill-equipped had children every day, why should they be any different?</p><p>When Logan had called Roman after his and Remus’s conversation, he’d received a congratulation from his friend. Roman had known that Logan was going to stick by his brother, despite what Remus had been convinced of at the time.</p><p>Logan closed his eyes, holding Remus close and dreaming of the future they could make together.</p><p>=+=</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This was stuck in my head till I got it down on paper, so here we are. This was really self-induglent and silly, but I had fun with it. I'm talking requests on my writing Tumblr @/exhaustedfander, if you wanna go send me a request over there that'd be rad. Comments and kudos are really appreciated and, as always, have a wonderful day/night.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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